DreamFeel

Somehow in the past year I have convinced myself to only publish a blog if I have either finished a game, which seems to coincide with rare planetary alignments, or written some monumental 5000 word treatise on the nature of being. And even more recently I've started thinking that I might only post if I have both, that is the thesis and a new game that exemplifies it! Because of this the only piece of writing I've managed to get out was a revised edition of an almost 12 month old paper on minimalist narratives. Expectation, or maybe pretension, is the enemy of productivity and this second guessing has a slowing effect in producing anything. So! Fuck that. Let's just talk.

Pipinn Barr writes a great development blog. One person's thoughts about the work he's doing, illuminated by thoughts on design and anecdotes. I can't imagine they occupy much distracting mental space, and perhaps they are still an outlet for any given moment's thoughts. I have really enjoyed Robin Arnott's recent design blogs. Generally these are less about the game's production directly, but instead give a cursory look at an array of interesting topics, and probably what is influencing him at the time. This is all that's needed. 'Here is what I'm thinking about'. I find it helps your long term understanding enormously to organize your thoughts so that you can explain them to others. You shouldn't stop yourself from doing so because you haven't solved every question. The most worthy aspect is perhaps to just pose the questions in the first place and try to get discussion flowing.


Liz Ryerson recently released Scraps, a collection of musical odds and ends, in order to clear her headspace and free herself up for a fresh start. In a similar (-ish) vein and without further ado or agony, here is a summary of the essays I've half written over the past 4 months. Stop me if you like the sound of anything.

A few nitty gritty looks into the nature of games:
- Game parsers. How can we give players much greater degree of expression, so we can have richer dialogue with them. In a way that harkens back to the possibilities of classic adventure games but in the more simulation rich games of today and more importantly in a way that avoids the disconnect created by the limited understanding of a text parser.

- A piece that looked at the nature of game interaction. I feel like this is my most exciting one, but it's also the one I most want to make some games for, to prove the ideas. Right now I'm not sure what I'm working on does this. :/ I should write it anyway.

- Another related to a closer look at how the player senses and feels the gamespace and alternative, possibly more abstract, means of this.

- The role of game structure. This is context like Droqen talks about*, but also juxtaposition (like Dys4ia, WarioWare), editing (Thirty Flights) and more. We're still largely making, albeit very elaborate, flat structured games (if you discard mostly non-game elements like menus & cut-scenes). Words on pacing.

- Thoughts on teaching children game development. This comes from an intense experience teaching at Uppingham Summer School at the end of July. I don't want it to be a superficial 'TOP 5 TIPS' though, because it deserves better.

Two articles on distribution:
- One that was originally based on the talk I gave for IGDA Scotland back in March (this is how long I can drag it out for). About the arms race to being as 'free' as possible: what are the lessons we can take from F2P, how might Amanda Palmer's thoughts apply to some indie titles, what might be some issues with her ideals, the role of community & investment, and really is there an answer in all this (probably not).

- Another in proposing an alternative model of distribution. How can we sustain more creators and how can we encourage more people with all kinds of backgrounds and interests to create?

I kinda want to get these out there before someone else actually announces this model, so I can act all smug. :) And they are probably amongst the most easily writable but I feel loathe to finish them as they are not subjects I want to be seen to focus on: the IGDA talk was one I was asked to give. And look how I've couched them between two legitimate categories! Again, why do I care about that? It's silly.

A few articles on writing:
- One on the importance of space in the game for thinking, which means boredom for some. That is the mental space needed if you want to create something meaningful and lasting. Essentially a coherent, ah that dastardly thing, look at the talk I rambled through at Lost Levels in March.

- A look at the four fundamental dilemmas as espoused by existential therapy. How much angsty territory do games explore, generally not much, and can we apply these ideas to create new interesting conflicts. Maybe? This is one of those that sounds amazing but when you start writing and researching doesn't really go anywhere. Useless for a 3000 word essay, but should just be an interesting aside on a blog post. What games address the spiritual dimension for instance? I think the work of Ed Key, David Kanaga, and Fernando Ramallo might be one answer.

- Gamestuff, mechanics are dead. Don't sweat the mechanics, that's not what makes a game great. For instance most people will say Psychonauts is not the strongest 3D platformer, but I'll be damned if it's not one of the greatest games of its time. Sweat the details and the personality. This insight has really come from talking with TheCatamites and looking at a lot of his titles, and then looking at a lot of my early games. He started with these really unique creations built in Adventure Game Studio and full of personality (and having nailed this, is only now starting to make more mechanic interested work), whereas I started with an Ikaruga clone (although I recently found my original interesting notes for what I wanted to do: Peripeteia). This essay hasn't got too far as it's a really hard idea to pin down, but I intended to take a few games as examples and look at them in a bit more depth (Drill Killer, Problem Attic & Mother 3 possibly).

- Hauntology. Psychogeography. Take your pick of shmancy concepts.

I might still finish many of these mammoth articles, although they are accumulating at quite a rate, but most of these thoughts don't need to be that. More importantly I'll just endeavour just to check in every so often to talk what I've been working on lately and to think out loud. Through this I'll naturally touch on some of the ideas that are obsessing me, and hopefully in a way that gets them out of my system. And I'll miss things; I won't consider some angles; I might look dim, but that's ok. I just want to talk. Possibly one thing that holds me back sometimes is the idea of being judged in relation to a piece, that I might be defined or dismissed by the little amount that may come through in my writing. I even second guessed posting this.

I strongly believe that people shouldn't be held to off the cuff remarks, what they said once or published once. I may write an article talking about an element of game design, but that doesn't mean I think it's the panacea for everyone all of the time, probably not even for myself. If you ask me a question minutes apart I might give completely contradictory answers, let alone years later. My views and practices, like everyone, are rarely singular and are always changing. Let's acknowledge that in each other. Really though, don't worry about it as nobody cares that much anyway.

However I should note that we all should also be able to take personal responsibility for what we say or do when we say or do it. This is especially true where other people are concerned. So don't self-censor but more importantly, don't be a dick. If you think you might remotely insult someone, or you feel you don't know enough about a topic to talk comfortably then ask someone and find out more or just don't speak out. One of the central problems with communication on the internet is that it's comprised almost entirely of one way streets. Like driving through a winding European city. Pretty and easy to get lost in for hours, but painful when you need to get somewhere.

Over the last 12 months it has been hard to miss news surrounding the horrible abuse many receive through channels like Twitter. The internet has become fundamentally broken. What should be a tool for communication, is a predominantly a tool of consumption and sometimes dumping empty remarks through social networks. Most of the time these trolls forget that everyone else is just another person. What is always surprising is after receiving a tough email, how apologetic many trolls can be when you engage and reply civilly. This doesn't dull that sting though, and I don't know how we can change the base level of discourse, but I think it has to come from a fundamental shift in the way the internet is viewed. Let's engage with one another meaningfully: let's not shout down one way streets, let's have a conversation. 

Conversation is something I value highly, but chances to discuss ideas in this sphere in depth are few and far between. I guess that's why I enjoy events like A Bit of Alright & GDC so much. So, please get in touch if you ever feel similarly about anything. I'm sure a lot of what I've said here also applies equally well to my attitude in game development too. I know I spend too much time second-guessing and deliberating rather than doing. Let's not sweat it anymore, let's do.

* Droqen has written a lot of great stuff lately too. And if I'm mentioning some more blogs, David Kanaga NEEEDS to write again. Do it David.

** I realise this would totally fit Critical Distance's theme a couple of months ago. Although I can't get the bloody widget to embed properly. :) 

*** I love how this became exactly the 2000 word essay that I wanted to avoid. However, I swear soon that I will simply fill you in on everything I've been doing since April.

 
Toasted Heretic - Maybe we should talk (1993)